We have received numerous emails these past few hours, most of them bursting with questions. Some ask who we are and why we exist, some express undying adulation. The others are not worth mentioning.
We have decided to step in and clear the air with a short conference. The press may please take their seats. Ignore the chewing gum on the benches. You may however enjoy the rather distracting sketches - I drew them myself.
Yes, the gentleman at the back - the one with the bar-code on the back of his T-shirt - please turn off that cell phone. Don't you really wish you were here?
Please note that we will be grading your participation. Shoot.
Who are you?
We are fake WIMWIans and we like our onions diced. We would also like to think we are playas. ;) In truth, we are brothers-in-arms. In legs, we are somewhat disjointed. (One of us even shaves them, but you can be sure there will be no admissions in that regard.)
We were born out of the union of a washerwoman and an exhibitionist, hence this childlike fascination for washing dirty linen in public. We take our inspiration from uncyclopedia.wikia.com.
Why this blog, and why now?
We are jobless. And because there is no time like now.
Wtf is this blog about would have been a much finer question. Well, I'll take it up nevertheless: we are not a satire - or at any rate, we suck at that sort of thing, so let's not go there. Also, W.T.F. is not behind this blog - at least, not officially.
The Fake WIMWI Playa merely offers an alternate opinion, the kind that doesn't make it to the glossy brochures. We are, in effect, the fifth estate.
Don't you think this blog will tarnish WIMWI's image?
Do you honestly think anyone outside WIMWI would care to read this? And puh-lease, we know we don't write nearly well enough to generate a fan following. Tarnishing WIMWI's image was never our agenda. In any case, whatever we write here is fake. Really fake. We come neither to bury WIMWI nor to praise it.
How long do you intend to keep this up?
As long as our attention spans last. And then we'll move on to something more fun, and illuminating, leaving the reins in trusted hands.
Have you joined the mess?
Is that a rhetorical question?
Alright, that's it folks, time for a bio break. Had a lot of onions today.
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